The United Nations 63rd annual General Assembly starts today in New York City and it's going to last a couple of weeks. During this stupid event, traffic gets snarled, waitresses get shafted on tips, parking laws are openly mocked and, for some confused dignitaries, sinks get mistaken for bidets.

No matter. The Assembly is in New York City for a reason: It's a compliment to democracy -- proof that the U.S. is the safest and most successful enterprise in the history of the universe. And that includes McDonald's.

Fact is, diplomats flock here because they can act like dopes and not worry about getting beheaded. It's kind of a shame.

So I have an idea: Since most of these jokers have no idea how freedom and democracy works, why not make the General Assembly like the Olympics, moving it from country to country?

Even more, why not make sure that the meeting is staged in places that are a little behind in the realm of human rights and personal freedom? These bloated bureaucrats would learn more in two days ducking for cover in Liberia, than two weeks trying to pick up transvestite hookers in Times Square.

And they'd probably think twice about double parking.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com